brokenme85 (brokenme85) wrote,
brokenme85
brokenme85

Ceremonial Speech "Farewell to Doubt"

I never realized how much doubt I had until the last speech day. It had been a long, emotional couple of days. And I doubted everything about myself and my speech. Two days later, one of our peers approached me with the traditional Namaste greeting, and I started to pull myself back together. A week later, Lent began. I'm not religious anymore, but giving something up for Lent always helped my soul grow. Acknowledging the over-use of something, and choosing not to use it anymore really builds character. This year, I chose to give up something harder than soda, chocolate or alcohol. I gave up something that had been embedded in my psyche... Doubt.
It has been very difficult! Doubt is a natural instinct, and definitely has its place when used as skepticism. It helps us to vibe whether or not something is real, and gives us the ability to make decisions using our gut and intuition. The doubt I gave up is self-doubt.; that obnoxious voice in our heads that says, "Yeah right,” "That's too much work for me," or "That's too good for me." I am slowly getting past this doubt. It hasn't been easy!
We doubt ourselves more than we realize. I've had a few major struggles with my fasting, this year. My car is an on-going science project, and never seems to be in good shape. I caught myself doubting that I could get it fixed. Then I took on a mentality of faith. Shortly after, everything came together, and now my car is back on the road. Most of my professors gave me an insane amount of homework to complete by this week, and I doubted I could get all of it done and still have a Spring Break. When I noticed I doubted my ability, I instead made a schedule, allotting three hours each day for schoolwork, and three hours for playtime. I went shopping for clothes... enough said! All of these things stirred my doubt. The key was acknowledging its presence, and choosing not to lean on it anymore. It's been a great exercise, and I have amazed myself with my ability to isolate and eliminate that variable of my life. It's also helped my self-esteem.
In the short amount of time that I have been living without doubt, I have realized that I don't need it anymore! It was useful for awhile. It kept me in check, and made me think twice before I acted. It's been a comfortable hang-up, since then. After years of life experience, and making lots of good and bad decisions, I now trust myself. I believe in my own abilities, and can resolve my own issues. I am moving on, and saying farewell to Doubt! I choose now, to embrace certainty, confidence and faith, instead! So thank you, Doubt, for all you've done to help me grow and learn! I've got it now! Peace out!
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